


the first time you and i said 'i love you'

by vaahtokarkki



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Morning Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 14:01:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21908338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vaahtokarkki/pseuds/vaahtokarkki
Summary: Kaoru says many things when sleepy -- it's too bad he doesn't always remember them.
Relationships: Hakaze Kaoru/Itsuki Shuu
Comments: 1
Kudos: 43





	the first time you and i said 'i love you'

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this one last summer but only recently realised I still hadn't posted it. oops.
> 
> this is... exactly what it says on the tin. enjoy the fluff!!

Shu likes to wake up early, and he absolutely doesn’t linger in bed. It’s much more efficient to start early.

The problem is, his boyfriend is an entirely different case.

This morning Shu intends to let Kaoru sleep. It’s a Sunday, and even if Shu starts early Kaoru doesn’t have to. It would be almost cruel to wake him up – he’s a picturesque sight, buried under blankets with only the top of his head visible, his hair splayed about on the pillow.

He looks cozy, comfortable, and Shu indulges himself in just a few kisses pressed gently to Kaoru’s forehead.

Kaoru stirs but doesn’t seem to wake up. Shu rises slowly so as not to bother him, detangling their limbs that always seem to entwine during the night no matter what position they fall asleep in.

It’s when Shu goes to slide out from under the blankets that Kaoru makes a small sound like a whine.

”Hakaze?” Shu inquires softly. Is he awake after all, or dreaming? But no, when Shu resumes moving Kaoru’s eyes slide open just slightly.

”Itsuki-kun.” His voice is hoarse and quiet. ”Don’t go.”

”You can keep sleeping”, Shu hushes. ”I have work to do.”

”Nooo”, Kaoru whines, this time more insistent. ”I’ll be cold.”

He _ shouldn’t _ get cold – it’s fairly warm in the room, and Shu can always get Kaoru a second blanket.

”You’ll be perfectly fine. Would you like another blanket?”

Kaoru gives him a look. Shu thinks he knows this look – it’s the boyfriend look. Kaoru getting cold means something else, then?

But Kaoru’s eyes are slipping shut again. Shu could wait for him to fall asleep and then go, but…

Shu lays a hand on Kaoru’s head and pets his hair for a while. Maybe this will be enough – those costumes in his work room aren’t going to sew themselves…

Once Kaoru seems to be sufficiently asleep again Shu makes to finally leave the bed, but –

”Nooooo”, Kaoru’s voice is even quieter than before. ”I’ll be lonely.”

Ah. Is that it? He merely craves company? Shu certainly doesn’t mind physical affection, but… he really should…

”Hakaze –”

”Please.” The word is muffled, and now Kaoru moves too, clumsily throwing his arms around Shu’s waist.

And Shu is certainly strong enough to push him off, but Kaoru is looking up at him with large, sleepy eyes, his mouth turned into a small pout, and –

”I suppose I could stay for a short while.”

Kaoru’s face lightens up in an instant, and he moves forward, hoisting his whole body on top of Shu’s.

”Thank you”, Kaoru’s voice slurs, ”I love you so much~”

Shu’s heart halts for a second, and when it resumes its beat the rhythm gets faster, faster. Kaoru, did he just…? He did, didn’t he? Shu couldn’t have misheard that.

”Hakaze…?” he begins carefully. ”Did you –”

Kaoru makes a strange noise and clings further up until his face is inches from Shu’s.

”Hey there, beautiful”, he slurs and then goes for a kiss, except he misses Shu’s mouth and instead plants his lips on Shu’s chin. He presses a few open-mouthed, slobbery kisses everywhere on Shu’s face except the mouth, and then his head falls down and he turns motionless.

Kaoru has fallen asleep. And while he sleeps Shu pets his hair and proceeds to have a minor crisis over those sleep-induced words Kaoru let out of his mouth.

It’s not that Shu _ doesn’t_. It’s the fact that those words haven’t yet been uttered in this relationship before.

Shu has been afraid of getting too intense too fast, even though – if he were to describe his feelings… love would be exactly the word. He’s been waiting – he knows Kaoru has commitment issues, doesn’t want to be tied down, so he’s been holding out in case _ love _ would be too heavy for such a free soul.

But now Kaoru said it himself…?! And so casually too, like there was nothing to it…?

Just thinking about it makes Shu nervous, unable to settle down. And what should he do when Kaoru wakes up? What can he say?

Well, there’s something… obvious he could say. But does he dare? Even though Kaoru already said the same?

Shu mulls it over and over while Kaoru sleeps, all earlier thoughts of work forgotten.

Kaoru wakes up less than an hour later. This time he seems to be more alert, though the smile he graces Shu with is still warm with sleep.

”Itsuki-kun, give me a kiss”, he croons. He gets more demanding when sleepy, but Shu doesn’t mind obliging his whims, not when he’s so incredibly adorable.

”What would you even do without me?” Shu mutters. Kaoru doesn’t display any reaction to the words, not when Shu follows them with a kiss, but after Shu parts, Kaoru sighs.

”I’d wither away from a lack of affection, probably.”

”That’s right”, Shu leans down for another kiss, unable to help himself. ”You thrive on love, don’t you? A nourishment I’m more than willing to provide.”

Shu gauges Kaoru’s face for a reaction, but the word _ love _ causes nothing to happen. Perhaps Shu can be brave, then, and say the whole sentence…?

”Mm… you’re right.” Kaoru sighs again, closing his eyes. He reaches up again to blindly chase Shu’s mouth, and Shu meets him again.

”Hakaze?” Shu says softly. ”There’s something I must tell you.”

Kaoru blinks in an attempt to focus his gaze.

”Okay… I’m listening.”

”It’s important”, Shu hushes. ”You’re sure you’re awake?”

Kaoru lifts his body a bit, now properly intrigued.

”Tell me”, his voice is quiet.

”Oh, darling”, Shu lifts a hand to run his fingers over Kaoru’s lips. ”I love you.”

Kaoru blinks and then freezes. His mouth falls open, his eyes wide, and then he rolls off Shu to hide his face where Shu can’t see it.

There were many possible reactions Shu expected, but not one this strong. When he leans over Kaoru’s body, Kaoru turns his face away.

Now Shu starts to worry. Was it too much, his confession being decidedly less casual than Kaoru’s?

”What’s wrong? Look at me?” Shu coaxes Kaoru to roll onto his back. Kaoru’s face is flushed and he can’t seem to meet Shu’s eyes.

”Th-that’s embarrassing”, Kaoru mutters. ”I mean, of course I do, but I didn’t expect you to… I can’t imagine saying it myself…!”

”Y-you did just an hour ago, though?!” Shu stutters. He thought…!

”What? I wouldn’t have-?! Itsuki-kun, are you sure you weren’t dreaming…?” Kaoru finally looks at Shu, and his face is _ burning _.

”You don’t… remember…?”

Sure, Kaoru was half-asleep, but Shu thought he was aware of what he was saying. That’s why…!

”O-of course I don’t remember!”

Oh, this is a _ disaster_. Was Kaoru that close to unconsciousness? And now Shu went and said it –

”In that case, I must – I must apologise. I thought you said, so I thought, I must say it back, but – in that case, I should take back the words –”

”Well, no!” Kaoru bursts. ”It’s not that I don’t! I just thought, I’ve been thinking, maybe you aren’t ready, so I shouldn’t… that, and… I’ve never got to this point with anyone, so…”

Kaoru’s voice fades away. He’s looking to the side again, but this time for a different reason.

Shu thinks he’s starting to get it. Aren’t their reasons similar, after all?

”Were you frightened?”

Shu can’t help being surprised at the softness in his own voice. Yet it’s inevitable – when Kaoru looks back at him Shu knows he’s right.

”I know how you feel about love”, Kaoru’s voice is soft too, and quiet. ”I didn’t want to give off the impression I’m saying it too freely, even though…”

”Go on.” Shu takes Kaoru’s hand in his.

”Even though it’s never been like this. I was scared of that too, my own feelings.” Kaoru speaks freely now, squeezing back at Shu’s hand. ”Maybe I didn’t know what to do with myself? I wondered if saying it would make it too real and I’d want to run away. And I didn’t want to give off the impression of being flimsy.”

That Kaoru’s insecurities are so different from Shu’s own aches at Shu’s heart. And here Shu has wanted to murmur the words since the first time they kissed, in the same flimsy way he’s always criticised.

If Kaoru is laying bare his soul it’s only fair Shu does the same.

”I was afraid as well, you know”, Shu confesses. ”It’s been difficult to contain myself, but I thought if I let slip the extent of my feelings you might feel suffocated. That you might… slip through my grasp, if I held on too tight.”

This is rooted in past anxieties, Shu knows, but with Kaoru’s personality the fear lingers strong.

”Maybe I would have”, Kaoru muses, ”despite the extent of _ my _ feelings.”

”Is it scary now?” Shu asks. Slowly he rolls on top of Kaoru, resting his arms on each side of Kaoru’s body. ”Being in love? Loving, and being loved in return?”

”Of course it is.” Kaoru lifts a hand, idly traces Shu’s neck with a few fingers. ”Just in a different way.”

”A good way?”

”A good way.” Kaoru snakes his hand behind Shu’s neck and pulls him for a kiss.


End file.
